


Kisses Can Hurt

by islashlove



Category: Psych
Genre: M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-11
Updated: 2014-08-06
Packaged: 2018-02-08 09:58:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 17,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1936578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/islashlove/pseuds/islashlove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lassiter confesses his love for Shawn and kisses him. Not able to believe what Lassiter has just done, Shawn runs away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Stormy Night Visitor, Shawn's POV

Man, it was cold, wet and windy this evening. I was lying on my couch, rugged up, in front of a fire. As I lay there, I started to reflect on the last few days. Gus and I had just finished helping Detective's Lassiter and O'Hara solve another case. This one had been really bad. The crazy this time had just wanted to get his name in the paper and he figured that killing me would do it.

He had been out for the last few weeks, killing people at random just for practice and he had finely gotten around to kidnapping me. He had told me his whole plan and that he just wanted to be noticed. Well he got noticed alright and by that time my hero, the delicious Irish coffee Detective Lassiter had come to my rescue.

My captor was just about to make his dream came true. He was standing behind me, his knife to my throat, ready to slit it open. Suddenly, the door crashed open and Lassie came barging in, gun drawn. I'm sure there were other officers with him, but I only saw him. My Lassie stood there with his gun pointed at me. Well, not me, but at the man with the knife; I just happened to be in the way. That's how it is when you're a human shield. Lassie wouldn't take the shot if there was a chance that I would get hurt, so I knew I had to keep the guy occupied to give Lassiter a chance to get into a better position.

So I did what I always do, what I do best. I started talking. First I ran through why his plan was always going to fail. Then I pointed out that the very handsome and very attractive Detective Lassiter, who was at that moment in the right position for a clear shot, had the monopoly on killing me. Just as I said that a shot rang out and my captor fell backwards, his blood flying everywhere. The next thing I remember is being rushed to the hospital with Lassie by my side.

After I gave my statement to Jules, she left to do up the report. Believe me; I was so glad she had left. I had lost count of how many times she had asked me how I was and kept on apologising for not getting there earlier. After everyone left, I started to drift off to sleep but some movement in the room woke me up and I was surprised to see Lassie there. He didn't say anything to me, he just stared. When I asked what he wanted, he just got up and left without saying anything. That was a week ago and I haven't seen him since.

Now, on this stormy night, while I lay wrapped up in my blanket and watching the fire burn in the fireplace, I hear a knock on my door. As I got up to get it, I thought to myself that if this is just another door to door salesman, I'm going to jail for murder. What a surprise it was to find Lassie there instead, dripping wet from head to toe.

I invited him in and with a silent nod of his head he entered. I took his coat and hat and I asked him if he wanted to sit down in front of the fire. He went to sit down but must have changed his mind. With three quick steps he was standing in front of me. He grabbed my T-shirt in one of his hands and the other went behind my head, then our lips were together. At first I couldn't move; the sensation running down my body was paralysing me. Then I felt his tongue run across my lips and that is when I gave in and let him have it all. I had been in love with this man ever since the first time I laid eyes on him and now he was in my arms, kissing me.

As he started to move down my neck with gentle, sweet kisses, my head cleared a bit.

"Why? Why now after all this time?" I asked.

"Shawn, I realised how I felt about you when I saw you with that mad man. I knew from what you had said about me, that you loved me."

"I do, oh god, I do."

'But wait!' my mind screamed. 'This was wrong. It's was not right. Lassie doesn't love me! He hates me! He shows me with the way he speaks and acts around me all the time.'

"Lassiter, stop it, please."

He did, but his eyes shone with confusion and he pulled back from me.

"Shawn. What's wrong?"

"Get out. Get out of my house. This joke you're playing isn't funny, Carlton."

"What joke?"

"You reckon you're in love with me. It's not funny, now get out."

"I'm not playing with you, Shawn. I love you."

"Fine, if you won't leave, I will!"

And with tears rolling down my cheeks, I ran from my own home. I ran from a man I loved, because I could not believe he could love me.

I have no idea what I was doing or where I heading. All I know is that, suddenly, I was in pain. Lots of pain and then I was flying through the air. The next thing I felt was my body, colliding with the ground. As l tumbled along I could feel the bitumen ripping and tearing at my clothes and skin. Then I was at a full stop. I could hear someone around me screaming, either in horror at what they had just seen, or for someone to get help. But the voice was jumbled and getting further and further away from me.

Then I heard Lassiter. His voice was full of hurt and pain as he told me to hold on, that help was on its way and he didn't wanted me to leave him that he needed me, even if it's just seeing my smiling face each day. The last thing I heard was my Lassie saying that he truly loved me. Then everything went black.


	2. Chapter 2: A Stormy Night Visitor, Lassiter's POV

'Why, the hell was I was standing outside Spencer's door?' I kept thinking to myself.

What, on this cold, wet and windy evening, was I doing here, soaked to the bone? It had been a week since I had last seen him, and that was at the hospital. He had looked so pale and weak from his ordeal with this latest nut!

Why didn't we listen to him? He said that this nuttier, this crazy man, was just practising for his real target. I just didn't think it would be him. When I came rushing into that room and saw him, I froze. My heart started to beat faster and I could feel the panic rising up inside me. My mind went blank, except for one thought that keep running through it. 'Shawn was in danger'. Not Spencer, but Shawn.

He had the knife at Spencer's throat and was about to pull it across when we entered. If we had been a few seconds later he would have been dead. I could only stand there with my gun pointed at both of them; He was standing behind Spencer, using him as a shield. I knew I had to get around, somehow, to get into a better position.

Then Shawn started to talk. He ran through the mad man's plan and then told him it why it failed. Then he looked at me and I could see it in his eyes...love? With a loving smile he told that mad man that I had the monopoly on killing him. By this time I had been able to position myself to take the shot. As Shawn kept talking, my heart started to do somersaults in my chest as he described me as being very handsome and very attractive. I knew, right at that moment, Shawn felt the same way about me as I did about him.

Just then I saw the nuttier move the knife across his throat and I took the shot. Blood flew everywhere. Shawn fell to the ground and I grabbed him. I know I yelled for help as I checked to see how serious the injury was. When he was loaded into the ambulance, I yelled to O'Hara that I was going to the hospital with Spencer.

After both Spencer and I gave O'Hara our statements, I sent her off to do up the report. I could see Spencer getting annoyed with her constantly asking how he was and apologising for not getting there earlier. After everyone had left, I stayed behind, just to watch him sleep. I realised that I nearly lost him that night, without Spencer's knowing how I really felt about him and if there was any chance for us. I started to sit down by the bed, but the chair scraped across the floor and the movement must have awakened him. I didn't say anything, I couldn't. I didn't know what to say, so I just stared. When he asked me what I wanted, I couldn't answer him. Instead I just left. That was a week ago and now here I am standing on his door step, trying to find the nerve to knock.

Finely, I found it and I stood there waiting for him to answer. When he opened the door I could tell it was a shock to see me standing there. I guess I wasn't who he was expecting to be on his door step at this time of night and I must have looked a sight.

"Lassie, why don't you come on in?"

I nodded my head and entered; he took my hat and coat.

"You can sit down in front of the fire if you want to," he said in a voice that was surprisingly calm.

The fire was inviting and the room was warm and cosy. Although you could see it was a small place, it was homey. I went to sit down and as I turned to do so, I looked at him. With three quick steps I made my way back to him. Spencer was just standing there in front of me and I could not hold back any longer. I grabbed the front of his T-shirt in one hand and placed the other hand behind his head. I gently pulled his head toward mine until our lips came together. Shawn did not move, but it did not matter to me. His lips were just as soft, if not more so, then what I had dreamed about. As soon as I let my tongue run across his lips it was a different matter though. Shawn had started to react to the kiss and it blew my mind.

As the kiss started to heat up, I gradually move down his neck with gentle, sweet kisses. His mind must have been able to start to work again.

"Why? Why now. Why after all this time?" Shawn asked

"Shawn, I realised how I felt about you when I saw you with that mad man. I knew from what you had said about me, that you loved me, too."

"I do, oh god, I do," he cried

"I love you so much Shawn." I started to kiss him again but he was fighting me, pushing me away.

"Lassiter, stop it, please,"Shawn begged of me

I did, but I was confused. I'm not a monster who forces himself on anyone!

"Shawn, what's wrong?"

"Get out. Please, get out of my house. This joke you're playing isn't funny, Carlton."

"What joke?"

"You reckon you're in love with me. It's not funny, now get out."

I could see the hurt and pain in his eyes as he told me to leave.

"I'm not playing with you, Shawn, I do love you."

"Fine, if you won't leave, I will"

And with tears rolling down his cheeks, Shawn ran from his own home, and from me, into the rain.

I chased after him, calling his name. I watched Shawn, my lovely, a little bit mad, Shawn run straight on to the road in front of a truck. I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe and I was sure my heart had stopped. I could hear the brakes as they were slammed on, the thud as machine and human body collided. Shawn was thrown up into the air, coming down with a bone shattering crunch.

I frantically pushed my way past the people who had started to gather around him. Some were screaming while others were calling for help, I really wasn't taking much notice. As I reached Shawn's broken body, I could feel my heart breaking into a million pieces. Sitting down next to him, I touched his face. I wanted to pull him to me, but even in my anguish, I knew it was the wrong thing to do. I know my voice was full of hurt and pain as I, begged him to hold on, that help was on the way and he was going to be okay. I begged him not to leave me, that I need him. I told him that just seeing his smiling face each day, brought sunshine into my life. I was crying; my tears mixed with the rain, as I told him how much I truly loved him.

The next half hour went by in a blur as the ambulance arrived and put my Shawn inside. I couldn't let him go alone so I jumped in behind the gurney and held his hand the whole way to the hospital.

Now I'm sitting in the ER waiting room, again waiting for news of Shawn as well as waiting for Mr. Spencer to arrive.


	3. Chapter 3: Henry's Reaction

Lassiter looked up as the one and only Henry Spencer walked in. A shiver ran down his spine at the sight that greeted him. Henry looked like he was ready to either hurt or kill someone, and Lassiter knew he was that someone. Deciding to get it over and done with, he got up and walked over to Henry.

"Mr Spencer, Detective Lassiter."

Both men said at the same time. Lassiter tried to look him straight into the eyes, but he failed. Henry's eyes were burning with fury, and anyone who ever said that Henry did not care for Shawn was wrong. Here was a man ready to protect his son at any cost. No matter how many fights he and Shawn had, he still loved him.

"What happened to my boy, Lassiter?"

"He was hit by a truck."

Henry's expression changed from fury to shock in an instant. The burning desire to kill was gone, replaced by horror and sadness.

"How...?" Henry looked down for only a moment and then he clenched his hands into fists.

"That damn bike of his. I keep telling him it's going to kill..."

Lassiter had his head hung down, when he broke Henry's train of words by whispering, "He wasn't on his bike."

"What do you mean? Was he crossing a road or something?"

"Sort of."

"Sort of, what do you mean, sort of, Detective?"

"He, he was running from me."

"He was what?"

Lassiter looked up at Henry, tears were flowing freely from his eyes and he didn't care.

"I said he was running from me."

"Why?"

The burning of anger was starting to build once again in Henry's eyes, and Lassiter knew it was reaching a dangerous point, but he didn't care. All he cared about was the fact that Shawn was somewhere in this hospital, badly hurt all because of him.

"I, I went to see him tonight, and I..."

Lassiter had dropped his head back down again and the tears were now starting to soak into his shirt. Suddenly Henry let out a sigh and then guided Lassiter to the seats. After they sat down Henry passed him a few tissues. Once Lassiter had calmed down a little, Henry broke the silence.

"How long have you been in love with him?"

The question came out of the blue, but for some reason, it wasn't unexpected

"A few year's now! How did you know?"

"You're a tough ass bastard of a detective and yet here you are crying like a baby over my boy. How do you think I knew?"

"Sorry, stupid question."

"No it wasn't. You're in love with Shawn; no question is stupid when he's involved."

Lassiter couldn't help but smile at that comment.

"So what happened?"

"I went over to see Shawn to tell him how I felt. I realised I needed to after that last nuttier nearly killed him. If he had, Shawn would have died thinking I hated him. Plus a few things Shawn said at the time made me realise that Shawn was in love with me, too."

"So you wanted him to know the truth. So how did that end up getting him hit by a truck?"

"I didn't actually tell him, instead I kissed him. At first, Shawn reacted as if he wanted me as well, then he begged me to stop. When I did he reckoned I was playing some sort of joke on him and he demanded I leave. When I didn't, he did. I ran after him but I couldn't catch him in time and he ran straight in front of a truck. I couldn't do anything to stop it. I..."

"It's ok, Lassiter, I understand"

"You do?"

"Not the whole thing, but the part where you couldn't stop it, I do. There was a couple of times when I was on the force, I wish I could go back and change the result, simply because I couldn't stop something from happening either!"

"Thank you, Henry, I just wish I knew why he ran?"

"He ran because he loves you, and he couldn't believe you could love him back. One of the things you'll learn about Shawn is he hides his true feelings behind that clown act of his. He is so afraid of being hurt; sometimes he just cannot except someone could love him."

"So, no matter what I say to him, he'll never believe it?"

"If you say it as often as you can, he will believe it. But make that one mistake where he has to question your love for him and it could take years to win his trust back."

"I understand, Sir. I just hope I get the chance to show him."

"Shawn is strong; trust me he'll be in there fighting."

Henry gave Lassiter a smile and Lassiter returned it.

"Who else knows about Shawn being here? I only rang you."

"I rang Gus and he's was on his way. Can I suggest, until you can talk to Shawn, not to let too many people know about your feelings for him, not just yet anyway."

"I understand, Mr, Spencer, if you think that's for the best, I'll do it."

"Good," he said. He nodded towards the door and I turned to see Gus walking quickly to where we sat. At the same time, the door to the treatment area opened and a doctor came toward us, a grim look on his face.


	4. Chapter 4: Things are not looking good

Gus quickly walked up to Henry and Lassiter. "Mr. Spencer, Detective Lassiter. What happened to Shawn?"

"We'll fill you in, in just a minute Gus. Doctor, are you looking for us?" Henry asked the doctor who was looking at them.

"Are you here for Shawn Spencer?"

"Yes, I'm his father and these are his friends."

"Very well, your son is in a very bad way. We're getting x-rays now, but I'm sure he has several broken bones in his legs and arms, along with a severe head injury and internal   
bleeding. It's not good, Mr. Spencer. We need to operate immediately."

Henry had gone white as he listened to the doctor. He knew it wasn't going to be good news, but he didn't think it was going to be this bad.

"Mr. Spencer?"

Henry heard his name being called by three different voices. Looking up from where he was seated, he was looking into the faces of three very concerned people.

"What happened?" Henry said, dazed.

"You looked like you were about to fall down so we decided it would be better if we sat you down instead," Gus said, his voice full of concern.

A nurse handed the doctor a clipboard with several papers on it. "Mr. Spencer, I'm sorry for this, but we need you to sign these forms so we can operate on your son."

Henry stared at the forms that might be all there was between Shawn living or dying. He filled them in and signed them, then handed them back to the doctor. As the doctor turned to leave, Henry called him back

"Doctor, tell your surgeons to operate on Shawn as if he was going to live, not die."

"We always do, Mr. Spencer." With that, he head off.

Henry sat back down and looked at Gus. He then turned to Lassiter. "Do you mind giving me and Gus a little time alone, please, Detective?"

Lassiter looked back and forth between the two men, and then nodded. "I'll go and get some coffee; do you want me to bring you some back?"

"Yes, thank you," Henry replied, then watched Lassiter leave.

"Mr. Spencer, what happened to Shawn and why is Detective Lassiter here?"

"Lassiter was there when Shawn got hit."

"Hit by what... by a car, truck, or did Lassiter hit him?" Gus said, shaking his head.

"A truck, Shawn...he ran in front of a truck."

"What? Why, why would Shawn...?"

"Gus...?"

"Lassiter was with Shawn. Shawn was running away from Lassiter. Wasn't he?"

"From what Lassiter told me, yes! Shawn was running away from him, and he wasn't looking where he was going and he ran in front of the truck."

"Did the Detective say why he was with Shawn and why Shawn ran away from him?"

"Yes he did."

"And...?"

"And at this moment, none of that matters."

"What do you mean none of that matters... how can it not matter?"

"Gus, trust me. Right now, why Shawn was running and why Lassiter was there, really doesn't matter. What matter's right now, is that Shawn gets better."

"I guess so, I just..."

"I know, but trust me. It really doesn't matter."

Just then a small group of people entered the room. Both Henry and Gus turned towards the door where O'Hara and two other officers were standing.

"Juliet, what are you doing here?"

"I came to see how Shawn was and these officers need to talk to Lassiter."

"Shawn is in surgery and Lassiter has just gone out to get some coffee. He'll be back soon."

"Ok, thank you, Mr. Spencer. Gus, are you ok?"

"Not really. Shawn's..."

As Gus started to tell what they knew about Shawn, Lassiter returned, coffee cups in hand. He gave Henry and Gus their drinks. Turning to Juliet he nodded.

"Detective Lassiter?" asked one of the officers.

"Yes."

"Detective Lassiter, we would like you to come to the station to answer a few question please."

"Why can't we do that here?"

"Detective, please come with us," one of the officer's said as he moved to stand by Lassiter.

Lassiter moved his eyes over the two officers' and then he looked down at Juliet.

"O'Hara, what's going on?"

"Carlton, I'm sorry but..."

Juliet didn't get to finish, as the two officer's slammed Lassiter into the wall and then proceeded to put the handcuffs on him.

"Detective Lassiter, you are under arrest for the attempted murder of Shawn Spencer. You have the right to remain silent; you have the right to..."

Lassiter didn't hear the rest. As the shock that he was being arrested for trying to kill Spencer took its toll on his mind, he blacked out. The last thing he did hear was Henry, shouting at the officers.


	5. Chapter 5: Bad News and Blackmail

Henry was fuming. He had been pacing the waiting room for several hours, mumbling under his breath. No one had come anywhere near him, except for Gus, and even Gus had kept his distance, only getting close enough to give Henry some coffee.

Just as Henry paced the same spot for what seemed like the hundredth time, Chief Vick walked in. As the saying goes, if looks could kill, the Chief would have been dead on the spot. The glare Henry gave her was full of pure hatred and anger.

"Henry?"

There was no reply.

"Henry, you need to calm down!"

The way Henry moved and the look on the Chief's face, told her she had just said the wrong thing.

"Calm down?" Henry said in a terrifying low and steady voice. "How do I calm down? My son is in this hospital, fighting for his life and the only person who can really tell us what happened is also in here. As far as I know, he is unconscious, under police arrest and under guard." Henry then threw his hands up into the air with frustration.

"No one, not one person, will come and tell me how either of them are doing. So, tell me, how the hell, do I calm down?"

Chief Vick just stood there as Henry let out his frustration, then watched him fall in a heap into one of the chairs. She sat down next to him and put a calming hand on his arm.

"I stopped at the desk before I came over here to talk to you. The nurse said the doctor would be here in a few minutes to talk to you about Shawn. Do you think you're ready to talk to him without biting his head off?"

"Yes and I'm sorry."

'Its ok, Henry, I do understand!"

With that, Chief Vick left to get the doctor. But Henry was also wondering about Lassiter, and why they had arrested him.

About five minutes later the doctor walked in. The doctor gave Henry the once over, and could see the worry, mixed with anger, on his face. He had been told how Mr. Spencer had been acting and was glad he had calmed down. It was always hard to give family news that wasn't good and when the family is as angry, well, it was even harder. He was just glad he didn't have to call hospital security.

"Mr. Spencer?"

"Yes!" he said, standing up quickly.

"Please, sit back down, and I'll continue."

Henry sat down, all of his anger had been spent and he felt weak and tired. After he sat down the doctor moved a chair in front of him and the Chief and Gus sat on either side.

"How, how bad is Shawn?"

Henry barely whispered this, and never lifted his head up. He stared at his hands dreading what he knew he was about to hear.

"Shawn is in a bad way. He is going to need more surgery over the next few months to repair some of the damage. At the moment we have him in a drug induced coma, which will help his body repair itself."

"What damage has been done?"

"He has broken bones in both his arms and legs in several places. He also had internal bleeding; we had to remove his spleen but we were able to repair the rest. He has two fractures to his skull and some swelling on the brain. Otherwise the rest is just the cuts and bruised, but a few of the abrasions are pretty bad, almost like burns and he might need skin grafts."

Henry just sat there, not saying anything.

"Mr. Spencer, do you understand what I said?"

"Yes, I do. You said Shawn will have to go through more surgery to repair the broken bones and internal damage he has. That you have given him drugs to put him into a coma, in hope that the body might repair the damage to his head. And on top of all that, he may be disfigured for life, through skin grafts. Right...?"

As Henry said this last word, he raised his head and looked the doctor straight into the eyes.

"Yes, Mr. Spencer, that's just about it. Are there any more questions?"

"Yes, but they're not about Shawn. Can you get me some information on Detective Lassiter, please?"

"Detective Lassiter...?"

"Yes, he was the gentleman that collapsed when he was arrested for the attempted murder of my son. I want to know how he is, please."

"Ok, I'll see what I can find out."

The doctor nodded at Chief Vick and Gus and then left the three there alone. Henry had gone back to looking at his hands; Gus had gotten up and started to walk around. Chief Vick went to leave, but stopped, when Henry asked her a question.

"Why was he arrested?"

"Sorry?"

"Why was Lassiter arrested for the attempted murder of Shawn?"

Gus had stopped his pacing and looked back and forth between the two.

"Henry?"

"Don't, Karen; just don't tell me it was protocol, because that's bullshit."

"Ok. The Detective's were here to question Lassiter. Because of his and Shawn's history and the fact that witnesses saw him chasing Shawn just before he ran out onto the road. Why he was arrested, I don't know yet. I haven't spoken to the Detectives about it yet."

"We were here when they did it. They asked him to come down to the station, Lassiter asked why. That was when they slammed him into the wall and told him that he was under arrest. Lassiter didn't do anything wrong. He just asked a question, so I ask again, why was he arrested?"

"And I just told you that I haven't spoken to the arresting Detectives yet, and when I do, I'll let you know. Ok?"

"Fine; By the way, Lassiter told me what happened tonight!"

"He did?"

"Yes, he did. And after I talk to him or Shawn, whichever comes first, I'll let you know what he said."

"Henry, that's interfering with a police investigation. You could be in a lot of trouble."

"It's called protecting my son and if you have a problem with that, arrest me!"

Henry locked his eyes with the Chief's. She was sure she could see burning ice in Henry's eyes and the pressure was building.

"There is no need for that just yet Henry, I will be back soon."

She then nodded at Gus and walked out. Henry just sat down again, leaving a wide mouthed Gus just standing there. He was in shock. In the last few hours, his best friend and brother had been hit by a truck while running from the one person that, everyone assumed, hated him. He was now very badly injured and will need to endure painful surgery for the next few months to repair the damage and there is no guarantee that he will survive.

Now Lassiter has been arrested for the attempted murder of Shawn. Henry is with-holding information from the police and is willing to be arrested for it. All Gus could think was...

'What's next?'


	6. Chapter 6: Complications

Juliet came into the waiting room to see how Henry and Gus were doing. Both men had at some point fallen asleep, and were sitting in what Juliet though to be very uncomfortable positions. Not sure how Henry would wake, Julies decided to wake Gus first.

When she walked over to him, she got a better look at the position he was in. A little giggle escaped from her, but it stopped quickly when she jumped as a voice came from behind her.

"Detective O'Hara, is that you"

"Mr. Spencer, I..."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," he said, and then, as if it was an afterthought, he added, "Is there some news?"

Juliet watched Henry stretch out of the sitting position he was in, and although it looked painful, Henry didn't seem to mind it.

"O'Hara..." Henry's words pulled her from her thoughts. "I asked if there was any news about Shawn or Lassiter while we were asleep."

"Sorry, Mr. Spencer, no, I just came in to check up on you and Gus and to see if you had heard anything new about Shawn?"

"No we have..."

Just then, as if it was on cue, a doctor walked in, reading a chart.

"Mr. Shawn Spencer's family..."

"Yes, I'm his father, Henry."

"Mr. Spencer..." the doctor said as he shook Henry's hand. "I'm here to give you an update on your son."

"What's happening?" a sleepy voice came from the row of chairs.

"The doctor's here to give us an update on Shawn, Gus."

Gus got up and joined Henry and Juliet so he could hear as well. The doctor stood there for a moment looking at the three, shook his head and then went back to reading his chart.

"You have already been given the basic information of his condition, but a few other things have come up since then."

"Like what?" Henry said with a slight snarl in his voice. He wanted to know what else could happen to his son.

"Well, you already know about his broken bones and the internal damage. The complication has come from the skull fractures and swelling on the brain. The swelling is starting to push its way through the cracks and we need to address this matter now. He needs surgery, but the risks are high and..."

"Has he a better chance of surviving with the treatment?"

"Yes... but the chances that he could be brain damaged..."

"I don't care about that. I would rather have him alive and brain damaged then to have to bury him. So give me the damn forms and just get in there and do what you have to do"

Henry signed the forms and the doctor left quickly and quietly. Henry let out a sigh and walked back over to the seat he was sitting on. He rubbed his face with his hands and then looked at Gus.

"Gus, do you know what he was talking about?"

"Yes."

"Could you please explain to me what I have just done?"

"Mr. Spencer..."

"Please."

"Ok. What the doctor was trying to say was Shawn's brain is swelling up like a balloon. And because he has the cracks in his skull it is starting to push through." Gus stopped to let this bit of information sink in, and then he continued. "Well... if they don't stop the swelling, the pressure could destroy his brain and in the end, killing your son."

"And the treatment they're going to give him, the surgery?"

"Well... they will expose his skull and then remove the damaged bone, giving the brain more room to expand without doing any more damage, but exposing the brain the air could do damage as well. The type of brain damage will depend on how much damage was done before, and as long as they don't slip up, should be small, but no matter what they say, since Shawn has already have swelling there is already damaged."

Henry sat in one of the chairs. "Thank you, Gus."

"I hope he will be ok, Henry," came a voice from the doorway.

Turning around, they saw Chief Vick standing there, concern written all over her face.

"Henry... can I talk to you alone, please," she said looking at Gus and Juliet.

Henry looked at them as well. "Sure. Would you two please go and get me some coffee and something to eat."

"Yes, Mr. Spencer," Gus replied

With that, Gus and Juliet both walked out leaving the Chief and Henry alone. Once they left, Chief Vick walked over and sat down beside Henry. She didn't say anything for a few minutes. Henry watched her with a worried look, wondering what is going on.

"Chief... Karen, what is it?"

She inhaled a deep breath and then let it out slowly. Turning to face Henry, she shook her head. Henry could see the worry and concern in Karen's eyes. After another deep breath Chief Vick started to talk.

"Carlton told me what had happened between him and Shawn, but I don't believe it."

"What? But why...?"

"Because he said he tried to kill Shawn, and that is why Shawn was running from him."

Henry sat there, mouth wide open, shaking his head in disbelief at what he had just heard. "No, that's not what he told me," Henry said with anger in his voice. He got up and walked to the door.

"Are you sure?" the Chief asked as she watched him closely.

"Yes!"

"Well... what did he say to you?"

"He told me... Wait a minute." Henry turned back to face Chief Vick. "He didn't say a thing to you, did he?"

"Henry..."

"No! He hasn't told you a thing, and you were trying to trick me into telling you. Weren't you?" Henry snarled at her.

"Yes, I was. But you need to understand where I stand, and how the reports are not going in Lassiter's favour."

"Then let me talk to him."

"I can't."

"Why not, what are you hiding?"

"I'm not hiding anything he hasn't come to as yet."

"What!"

"And it might be a long time before he does."

Henry turned to find a young doctor standing behind him.

"What do you mean?"

"You are talking about Detective Carlton Lassiter, right?"

"Yes," both Chief Vick and Henry answered.

"Well, I just left his room. I believe the shock to his system was too great, and his body, to protect itself, has shut down."

"What does that mean?" Chief Vick asked as she joined Henry.

"Basically, even though he's responding and breathing on his own, Detective Lassiter is in a form of deep sleep. It is so deep, that it is close to being in a coma."

"Will he awake up?"

"We don't know. From past experiences, he just needs the right stimulant."

"Which is...?"

"I don't know that, it could be a pet, an object or a person. But then again... he could just wake up on his own. Only time will tell."

"Shawn, he needs Shawn."

"Why Shawn Henry, what is going on between them?"

"Because this started with Shawn, so logically Shawn will be the trigger."

"I guess so, but he's not in any position to help right now, and they're looking at formally charging Carlton with attempted murder."

"When that time comes, I'll talk on Lassiter's behalf, but not before."

"I understand, and Henry, I'm sorry for trying to trick you, but I'm worried for both of them."

"I know, but what he told me could be just as damaging as if he did try to kill Shawn. So unless I really have to tell what Lassiter told me, I won't betray his trust."

"Thank you."

With that, Chief Vick and the doctor left Henry alone with his thoughts.


	7. Chapter 7: Henry's Thoughts

Henry sat in the quiet waiting room thinking. First, he thought about his life and how it changed when Shawn was born. At first it was hard. This small thing had invaded his space, his life, and he didn't know how to work with it.

Then it grew into this underfoot and defiant child that ran circles around him. But he knew he wouldn't change a thing, no matter how bad it got.

So when he started to see how Madeline treated Shawn, no matter what he did, Henry got mad. At first the arguments were about trying to get through to her that Shawn wanted and needed her attention. When that failed, he tried to get her with her own game but Madeline figured out what he was up to, so she packed her bags and left.

He was so glad that by this time Shawn had met Gus and their friendship was strong enough to help get him through his mother's leaving. He tried to be a good father, he really did, and he did try his best to guide Shawn so that he knew the difference between right and wrong.

Pushing Shawn as hard as he did was the only way he knew how to show Shawn how much he cared for him. To Shawn, the time they spent doing that silly 'how many hats' game, was a waste of time but to Henry it was time he could look back on when Shawn was off, God knows where. It was time with his son and now those memories may be all he has left.

He thought about the life Shawn had lived; and lived he had. Shawn wasn't a boy to stay still; his school photo's easily showed this. Shawn was always in trouble, no matter what he did, and somehow he had always managed to drag Gus into the middle of whatever it was. Poor Gus, he tried so many times to be Shawn's conscience; only to be caught up in the game Shawn was playing at that time.

If it hadn't been for Gus, Henry wouldn't have known about all the jobs Shawn had had over the years. Some were good, some bad. He stayed for a while in some and others he just used to gain the skills he thought he might need in the future.

Then Shawn came home. He still had the spring in his step, the smile on his face and laughter in his voice, but Henry knew that all this was hiding a scared, hurt child, that didn't want to be seen. The type of child that sat in the back of the class room, hoping that the teacher won't call on him today to talk in front of the class. For if he did, everyone would see the emotional wounds, that wouldn't heal.

Shawn had learned at a very young age no one wanted him and not to trust anyone, and with a sad sigh Henry realised that he helped put in the bricks, that made up the barriers that Shawn used to protect himself. It was the way he and Madeline treated him as a child, and then when she left, the concrete had set the wall in place.

But somehow, somewhere, Shawn had left a door and Gus was the lucky one to have found it and decided to knock. And for some unknown reason, Shawn had opened the door and then let him in, closing the door behind Gus, locking in their friendship.

Now it's Lassiter who is knocking, but instead of knocking at the door, he was knocking at the brick wall. Whether it was just that the wall was getting to old and heavy to carry or it was just that Lassiter kept on knocking, but over the years Henry could see that the wall was starting to crumble; and the real Shawn was showing through.

Lassiter had touched something very few have ever seen, let alone gotten near, Shawn's heart. The treasure at the centre of the wall, a real gem, that once given could only be given back in shattered pieces. But somehow Henry just knew, with all his heart, that Lassiter was the one; the knight in shining armour, that was going to win the prize and protect it with his life forever.

Henry was brought out of his thoughts by the return of Gus, who was holding two cups of coffee. Giving Gus a smile, Henry had this strange sensation that everything was going to be ok. That Shawn will be fine and so will Lassiter.


	8. Chapter 8: Good News and Deception.

"Thank you, Gus," Henry said with a smile.

Gus took this smile to mean Henry had received news of Shawn. So he let out a big sigh of relief.

"So you've more information on Shawn then?"

"No, now why would you ask that, Gus?"

"The smile on your face, I thought that you must have heard something good. Sorry."

"No, Gus. It's me who should be saying sorry to you, I was smiling because I've just got this feeling that everything is going to be alright."

"Is that what you were thinking about before I came in?"

"I was thing about Shawn and how he changed my life, and yours, and how he lived his, and I do mean how he lived."

"Yeah, I can't ever see my life without him in it. You really believe he's going to be ok, don't you, Mr. Spencer?" Gus knew he shouldn't ask that question, but he couldn't help it, he needed to be told Shawn was going to be ok; he just needed it.

"Yes, Gus, I really believe he is."

"Good, I mean I know he's going to be ok, but I needed to hear someone else to say it."

"I do understand, Gus, I really do understand." Gus sat down beside Henry and gave him the cup of coffee he was holding for him.

"You lose O'Hara, Gus?"

"No, she went to check on Lassiter." Henry didn't miss the way Gus spat out Lassiter's name.

"Gus, Lassiter didn't do anything wrong, in fact I think he's the one to help Shawn heal from all the hurt he has been through. The hurt neither you nor I have ever been able to reach."

"Really, Mr. Spencer, you think Detective Lassiter can help Shawn?"

"Yes, Gus, I really do think that Lassiter has broken through that attitude of Shawn's and seen the real him."

"Well, I never, so what was he doing with Shawn again?"

"Lassiter had..." Henry looked at the door, listened and then got up to make sure no one could over hear them. When he was sure the coast was clear he continued. "What I was saying was that Lassiter had gone to Shawn's to tell him how he really felt about him."

"So Lassiter confessed that he was in love with Shawn, and Shawn's reaction was to run out the door and in front of a truck. Is that it?"

"Yes and no; yes that was Shawn's reaction, but no Lassiter didn't tell him how he felt. He knew he couldn't say the right words, so he showed Shawn by kissing him."

From his position leaning on the door fame, Henry could see Gus' mind processing the information he had just given him and he could have sworn that Gus' head shone as he realised what all this meant.

"So with the way Shawn is with trusting people, he didn't believe what Lassiter did and I guess Lassiter then tried to explain?" Gus said with one eye brow raised.

"That's right, Lassiter said Shawn did respond to the kiss, but then did a 180 and begged him to stop. When he did, Shawn demanded he leave but when Lassiter didn't because he wanted Shawn to understand how he felt..."

"Shawn took off crying straight if front of a truck," Gus said finishing off Henry's sentence.

"Yep, that's how it played out. Lassiter also said he did chase after Shawn but was too late to stop him. The poor man is blaming himself for all of this; when the truth is, we all have in some way added to Shawn's mistrust in people." Henry then looked at Gus and added "including you, Gus."

Gus hung his head down and replied to Henry, "Yes, I know."

"I wish they would come and tell us something." Looking at his watch, Gus then added "It's been at least three hours; they should have finished by now."

As if on cue, the doctor walked in.

"Mr. Spencer?"

"Yes, Doctor, how is my son doing?"

"Actually, very good; by the time we had him prepped for surgery the swelling had stopped and was starting to reduce."

Then what took so long?" queried Gus

The doctor looked at Gus and then back at Henry, and seeing that Henry was also waiting for an answer, he continued.

"We have placed your son back into ICU, and we are monitoring him for now."

"I believe Gus here asked you why it has taken so long for you to let us know this," Henry said slowly and with a low voice.

"We waited to see what was happening, we didn't want to come in here too soon and give you false hope, Mr. Spencer."

"Now, as long as the swelling keeps going down, and his condition starts to improve, you should be able to go and see him soon."

"What is soon?" asked Henry

"At this rate, most likely tomorrow, Mr. Spencer" Giving Gus another glance he added "It will be immediate family only"

Henry hadn't missed the look the doctor had given Gus and he wasn't going to let it go.

"That's good," he said turning to Gus, "We'll be able to see your brother in the morning, Gus"

When Henry turned back to the doctor, (whose mouth was wide opened), he had on a big smile.

"That is what you said, wasn't it?"

"Yes, it was, I didn't realised he was your son as well."

"Yeah, Shawn took after me, where Gus took after their mother. You have a problem with that?" Henry said with a threatening voice.

"Not at all, Mr. Spencer, not at all," the doctor said, as he hurried out the door.

As the doctor disappeared around the corner, Gus could no longer keep his laughter in, but stopped as soon as Henry looks back at him. Henry then smiled at Gus.

"I can't stand people like that," He said as he walked back to the seats.

Just then the Chief walked in, giving the two men a bewildering look.

"Hi, Karen, what can we do for you?" Henry asked

"What just happened in here with the doctor? He went running out of here like you two had attacked him."

"Well, in a way I did."

"You did what, Henry?"

"He, he was being very rude to Gus and I just made it out that Gus was Shawn's brother, I then asked if he had a problem with that. He said no and left," Henry said in a matter of fact voice.

"What am I going to do with you, Henry? I guess he brought news of Shawn?"

"Yes, he did. They didn't need to operate, and as long as Shawn keeps on improving, we should be able to see him tomorrow."

"That's wonderful, Henry, so what are you going to do now?"

"Well, I was thinking of going home and getting cleaned up and getting some sleep, how about you Gus."

"Sounds good to me, what about you Chief Vick?"

"I still have some things to do here with Lassiter, but I'm looking at doing the same thing as well, so good night to you both." And with that the Chief walked out.

Gus got up and headed towards the door. Just before he went through he turned to Henry

"They're both going to be ok, aren't they, Mr. Spencer?"

"Yes, Gus, they are," and with that the two walked out.

After they left the Chief walked back in and picked up the tape recorder she had slipped under the seats earlier. Listening to it she smiled when she heard them talking about what had happened.

"I hope it was worth it, Karen."

Spinning around in surprise, Chief Vick came face to face with Henry. He didn't look happy, she looked at the recorder and then back at Henry."

"Henry, I..."

"Don't; don't even bother explaining it to me. It's Lassiter you'll need to explain it to," Henry said, and then he just walked away.


	9. Chapter 9: Henry's Plan

Henry was at the hospital early the next day. As he walked up the hall towards Lassiter's room he was surprised to find no guard on the door. Looking around, he spied a nurse.

"Excuse me."

"Yes sir, can I help you?"

"The man who was in this room, has he been moved?"

"Do you know his name?"

"Yes, Detective Carlton Lassiter."

"Just a moment and I'll check." The nurse walked over to the desk and typed in a few things into the computer. "No, the Detective hasn't been moved, why, wasn't he in his room?"

"I don't know; it was just yesterday there was a guard on his door and today there isn't one."

"That's because he is no longer under arrest, Henry," the Chief said as she walked up to them. Looking at the nurse, she nodded her head. "Last night the evidence was given and a judge has ruled that Lassiter had done nothing wrong and all charges were dropped."

"That's good," Henry said as they both headed to Lassiter's room. "How is the Detective, anyway?"

"He's better, the doctor said it's just like Lassiter is sleeping, only he not going to wake up anytime soon. What about Shawn?"

"Don't know; I've only just gotten here."

"Oh, well don't let me keep you from your son, Henry."

"You're not and I would like to see Lassiter if you don't mind?"

"Not at all, Henry, be my guest," the Chief said, waving her hand towards the door.

As they entered Lassiter's room, Henry saw exactly what he was expecting to see. Lassiter was laid out on his bed just like he was sleeping, except he had a few wires running from him to the nearby machines. One was to monitor his heart rate and the other was for his breathing.

Henry looked at the Chief and, without saying anything, he walked up to Lassiter's bed. Sitting down in the chair that was there, Henry just stared at the man before him. He could see out of the corner of his eye that the Chief was coming further into the room, but he did not show that he knew that she was still there.

"Henry, I'm..."

"What, sorry that you recorded me and Gus talking, that you betrayed my trust, or are you sorry that my boy is here in hospital. What, what are you sorry for, Karen?"

"For all, of what you have just said and a lot more; yes, of course, I'm sorry that Shawn is in here, just as sorry that Lassiter is, as well. I'm sorry that I have betrayed your trust in me, but I am not sorry that I tricked you into telling me what had happened between your son and my detective."

"You're not?"

"No, I'm not. My detective's job was on the line and if found guilty, most likely his life. So, no, Henry, I'm not sorry for what I did. I'm just sorry that you thought you couldn't trust me with that type of information."

"Good."

"Good?"

"Yes, good; it means you're willing to go to great lengths to protect your men. Most Chiefs would have just tried to cover their own arses."

"I wouldn't be Chief if it wasn't for my men, Henry, so of course I'm going to protect them, as long as they're not guilty, that is."

"Yes, and the only thing Lassiter is guilty of, is falling for my son."

"Henry..."

"Yes?"

"What if, neither of them wakes up?"

"They will, in their own time they will, but for now, I would like them put into the same room."

"Why?"

"Well, being close to each other might help them heal, but the main reason is that we can see both at the same time, instead of running back and forth between rooms."

"That's a good idea. So, who would we have to talk to about that?"

"Their doctors I guess, plus, with them both being in intensive care, would make it easier on the staff here."

"Well, you just sit there with Lassiter, and I'll see if I can find a doctor." As she headed to the door she stopped and without turning around she asked, "You knew the tape recorder was there, didn't you?"

"Yes, I saw it when I went to the door."

"Thank you."

"Whatever; just find the doctor, please?"

Without saying anything the Chief walked out the door, leaving Henry alone with Lassiter.

"Detective Lassiter, I don't know if you can hear me, but I'm sorry. Sorry for all the times I've put you down for the way you treated Shawn. I should have seen that you liked him by your behaviour and I'm sorry about that too. I was a fool and so was Shawn. I know this doesn't mean anything right now, but I do approve of you and Shawn dating, but when you get the chance to see him again, don't tell him what I just said, please. I do have a reputation with Shawn to uphold."

"Knowing what I know now, you need Shawn and Shawn needs you. And you're the real reason he stayed in Santa Barbara all these years. Not for me and not for Gus, but for you, and even though he ran away from you, when you finally told him how you felt, well it just confirms that he is in love with you, too."

"You need to come back to us, Lassiter; you need to be here when he awakes up so you can tell him how you really feel about him. Hopefully that hit to his head has knocked some sense into him. I love my boy, Lassiter, and I want him to be happy, I'm just sorry it has taken me this long to realise it."

Just as Henry stopped talking, the doctor and the Chief walked back in. Henry turned to face them.

"Doctor," Henry nodded his head at the doctor as he got up and walked a crossed to shake hands with him.

"Mr. Spencer, the Chief has let me know about your wishes, to have your son moved to this room. I'm sorry but that wouldn't be possible. But, with that said, we could move the Detective to your son's room instead."

"You could?"

"Yes, we could. But the rules for your son at the moment is tight, one visitor at a time. If this is acceptable then we can proceed. Also because of your son's condition, someone may be in the room at all times. So you can arrange a group of people to sit with Shawn, as long as...

"There is only one in the room at a time." Henry finished off the doctor's sentence.

"That's right," the doctor replied

Henry put out his hand to shake on the deal.

"I just need you to sign this to allow us to use your son's room and..." he watched as Henry signed the forms. And you need to sign here, Chief Vick, for you to give us permission to move Detective Lassiter to a new room. Now with that done, I'll be off to set this all in motion." The doctor left and Henry and the Chief were left alone, facing each other.

After about a minute, Henry broke the connection and walked over to where Lassiter lay. He looked down at Lassiter. "Well, Lassiter, soon you will be in the same room as Shawn. Now don't you two get up to anything will you?"  
"Charming, Henry, really charming, so what do you have planned for the day?'  
"Just to see my son, that's all."  
"Yeah, well, just let me know how it all goes, I've got to get to the station." She waited for a reply, but none came. "Bye, then, I'll catch up later.  
With that, Chief Vick walked out the door again, looking back at Henry once more and thinking, "I hope I can fix what I have done."


	10. Chapter 10: Shawn Awakens

Over the next five months, a routine was put into place where Shawn and Lassiter had someone in the room with them at all times. Between Henry, Gus, Chief Vick, Juliet and McNab, the shifts weren't that long.

Shawn had been put into a drug induced coma to allow his body to heal and Lassiter, well, Lassiter just laid there in his sleep like coma. Both men were connected to wires and tubes that were monitoring their condition and helping them stay alive.

Henry had come in to take over from Chief Vick. Their friendship had slowly repaired itself over the time they had spent looking after Shawn and Lassiter.

He made himself comfortable, sitting between the two beds and started to read the paper out loud. He was in mid sentence when he heard a noise. Just thinking it was a nurse coming in to do their routine checks he didn't worry about it and went back to reading. A few moments later he heard the noise again, only this time he could make it out to be someone scratching at the sheet and he was sure it was coming from Shawn.

Standing up from the chair he went to Shawn's bedside and looked down at Shawn. He still looked the same as he had these past months. But as Henry went to sit back down, Shawn moved his hand out to grab him. Henry had stopped halfway to the chair and quickly straightened up and looked at his son again.

"Shawn?"

Shawn reached out with his hand again, toward the voice calling his name.

"Oh, God, Shawn," Henry said again as he reached over to the nurses call button, hitting it. "Shawn, take it easy, the nurse is on her way."

Shawn's eyes shot opened with fear, as he started to fight against the breathing tube. Henry placed his hands onto Shawn's shoulders to try to calm him, but it didn't seem to be working. Henry let out the breath he was holding when the nurses and the doctor entered.

He carefully stepped back to let the doctor and nurses to do their jobs, but doing nothing was helping the growing fear that was rising from the pit of his stomach. He watched as the doctor gave Shawn a shot of something, and then Shawn calmed down. Although he was wide awake and you could still see the fear, Shawn had stopped fighting and was now listening to the doctor.

"Shawn, listen to me, please," the doctor stopped and waited till Shawn was looking straight at him. "Good, now, you have a breathing tube down your throat and if you can try to relax and stay calm, we will remove it. If you understand, nod your head."

The doctor waited a minute and then Shawn did what he was told.

"Right, now I need you to stay as still as possible, ok?"

Again Shawn nodded and the doctor started to remove some of the tape that held the tube in place. Shawn was looking around, and after a minute his eyes fell onto Henry standing there, watching. When he saw Shawn looking at him, Henry gave Shawn a knowing smile.

"Shawn," again the doctor waited til Shawn was looking at him. "Now, Shawn, you are going to feel a pulling sensation in your throat and the urges to swallow or gag. I need you to do your best to try to fight these urges. Do you understand?"

Shawn looked at Henry, who nodded at him to say it was ok. Looking back at the doctor Shawn nodded his response.

"Right, when I count to three, I will remove the tube." The doctor looked at Shawn, who again responded with a nod. "Right, here we go, one, two and three."

The doctor removed the tube. Henry could see Shawn trying his best to stay relaxed. Soon, the tube was out and being placed into a tray.

"So, Shawn, how do you feel now?" asked the doctor.

Shawn opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. He tried again, but this time he put his hand onto his throat and managed, in a very quiet harsh whisper to say, "Thirsty."

The doctor smiled and let out a little laugh.

"Well, we will have to do something about that, now won't we." The doctor turned to one of the nurses. "Can you please get some ice chips for Shawn?"

The nurse smiled at Shawn, then nodded at the doctor. "Yes, doctor," she said and then she left.

The doctor then spoke to the other nurses. "Well, I think that's all we need to do right now, nurse, so you can go back to your duties."

The nurses all headed out the door, just as the first nurse returned with the ice chips. The doctor moved over to Henry as the nurse started to give Shawn a few ice chips to suck on.

"Mr. Spencer," the doctor said as he looked back over toward Shawn. He turned back to Henry and continued. "It seems that Shawn might not have as much brain damage as we first thought."

"He's barely said two words and you haven't even looked him over yet. So what gives you that impression?" Henry said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Because of just that, he has spoken. The part of the brain that controls speech was the affected area, so for Shawn to be able to speak at all, means good news."

"So he will be fine then?"

"We won't know til we do a few tests to see how much, if any, damage has been done. But with him being able to talk is a really good sign. I'll leave you with him for now. The nurse will show you how to give him the ice and I don't want him talking too much, his throat will still be tender from the tube for a while yet."

"Ok, doctor, and thank you for looking after my boy."

"You're welcome, Mr. Spencer. Nurse, can you show Mr. Spencer how to give Shawn the ice chips please and then you can go back to your rounds."

"Yes, doctor," the nurse replied.

"Ok, Mr. Spencer, just give him one chip at a time to suck on. The cool water will help to soothe his throat and don't give him too many either.

"Thank you, nurse; I'll keep that in mind."

With that the nurse handed Henry a spoon and the container with the ice chips in it and left the room. Henry just stood there watching Shawn. He placed the container on the table and then gave Shawn a big smile.

"How are you, kid?"

Shawn watched his dad carefully. Before him was the man he called dad, the man who raised him and trained him to be a cop. But he didn't look like that man anymore; instead there was a tired, old man, who looked like he was twenty years older, than he really was.

"Dad, I..." Shawn started to say, but Henry cut him off.

"Shawn, the doctor wants you to try and not to speak at the moment, so your throat will heal."

Shawn just stared at his father, how dare he ask him a question and then refuse him the right to speak and answer it.

Henry must have seen what Shawn was thinking and he felt the need to explain himself.

"Shawn, I'm sorry, I should have been a bit clearer. The doctor wants you not to talk so your throat will heal and I should have asked the question a little bit differently."

Shawn tilted his head to one side to try to figure it out. He then nodded his head to show his understanding. He put on the biggest smile he could muster.

Shawn then looked past his father to the next bed surprised to find Lassiter there. His heart started to beat faster, with worry.

Henry noticed that Shawn was looking at Lassiter's bed and got a little worry as to what was going through Shawn's head.

"Shawn, do you remember what happened? If you do, just nod your head."

Shawn looked at his father and nodded. He then returned his attention to Lassiter.

"Ok, just to get that straight, I'm going to tell you what Lassiter said happened, if it correct, you know what to do?"

Nodding his understanding, he looked at his father, waiting to hear what Lassiter had said.

"Lassiter said he went to see you and to show you how he felt he kissed you." Henry stopped there just to get Shawn's reaction from what he had just said. Watching his son turn bright red at this information, confirmed what he had just said was true.

He then continued, "And that you then pushed him away and you ran off crying, not looking where you were going, straight in front of a truck." Shawn looked at Henry, a little bit of confusion showed in Shawn's eyes.

"Is it the running away you're confused with?"

Shawn shook his head.

"It was what hit you?"

Shawn answers this question with a nod. He then looked at Lassiter and then back at his dad with a questionable look.

"You want to know what happened to him."

Again Shawn nodded and looked back at Lassiter

Henry took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He, too, looked at Lassiter and then turned his gaze back to Shawn.

"Shawn," Henry waited til Shawn was looking at him before he continued, "he's been laying unconscious like that, since that night, when they went to arrest him for trying to kill you."  
Shawn's eyes flew wide open with shock and fear; he then started to shake his head.  
"It's ok, Shawn, it is ok. He's been cleared, but I think he needs you to help him come back from where ever he is at the moment. So you need to concentrate on getting better, so you can help him."  
Shawn nodded his head again, leaning back on to his pillow, he let out a sigh.  
Henry took this as a chance to leave and give the rest of the gang the call they had all been waiting for. He stopped at the door and looked back at his son.  
"Shawn, do you love him?"  
Shawn looked at his dad and nodded. He then looked back at Lassiter and nodded again. Henry smiled and left the room.


	11. Chapter 11: Lassie Came Back.

Over the next couple of days, Shawn went through dozens of tests, both physical and mental. The doctors were surprise to find that very little damage had been done and Shawn was now recovering faster than they thought he would. Although he still needed a lot of physiotherapy to be able to walk again, it didn't seem to dampen Shawn's spirits; in fact he still had his usual happy, 'go through the world without a care' attitude. But Henry and Gus knew it was still a mask he was putting on and occasionally, when he looked at Lassiter, the mask slipped a little.

It was around the fourth day when Shawn had just gotten back from physio, he was lying on his bed talking to Lassiter, which was what his dad said he should do, when someone told him to shut up. Sitting up, Shawn looked around the room, but no one was there. Thinking he had imagined it, Shawn lay back down again and started to talk. But the voice came again, only this time he knew who had spoken.

"Spencer, I said SHUT UP" said the grumpy voice of Shawn's beloved detective.

"Lassie..." Shawn said with a very quiet voice. "Is that you?"

"Yes, Spencer, it's me. Who the bloody hell do you think it was, The Queen of Sheba? And I said, shut up!"

"Oh, Lassie, you're back!" Shawn reached over and pressed the nurses call button.

"Back... back from where and where the hell are we, Spencer?"

"You told me to shut up, so do you want me to answer that, Lassie?" Shawn said with a smile.

"Spencer!" Lassiter said through clenched teeth.

"I love you too, Lassie. We're in the hospital."

"Why are we in the hospital?"

"Please, Lassie, don't joke. You know why we're here, or at least why I'm here, don't you?"

"You got hit by a truck," Lassiter said, no emotion showing in his voice.

"Lassie..." Shawn's words were broken off by the nurse entering.

"You called, Shawn?"

"Yes, Lassiter's awake," he said, never once taking his eyes off Lassiter.

The nurse looked at Lassiter and the moment she saw that his eyes were open, she approached his bed.

"Detective Lassiter?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Well, it's about time you decided to join us again." The nurse said, smiling at him. "Now you stay still, while I go and get the doctor."

"Can't I sit up?" Lassiter snapped

Frowning, the nurse replied. "Detective you have been lying in this bed for the last five months. I think you can wait a little bit more, til the doctor says whether or not you can sit up." With that, she walked out the door.

Shawn just sat there smiling at Lassiter

"Spencer, stop smiling at me," Lassiter snapped and then a bit quieter added, "Now you were going to tell me how I ended up here."

"Well, Dad told me, that is, when I finely came too, that you collapsed just after some other cops went to arrest you for trying to kill me."

Shawn waited for a moment to see what Lassiter had to say about this, and when there was no reply, he continued. "Carlton?"

Lassiter turned his head towards Shawn, frowning a little at Shawn using his first name, he replied. "Yes, Spencer?"

"Sorry," Shawn said looking down at his hands.

Lassiter could hear the sadness in Shawn's voice. He swallowed hard to clear his own voice before speaking. "Sorry? What are you sorry for?"

"For hurting you; for not trusting you enough that you would be telling me the truth about how you felt about me. For running away and not looking where I was going. For..."

"Enough, Shawn," Lassiter barked, interrupting Shawn's rant. "It was my fault, not yours. I shouldn't have done it that way and I should have realised you didn't, wouldn't, want me that way."

"What?"

"What do you mean what?"

"Carlton, I love you," Shawn said nearly in tears, "I have loved you since we first meet. It's the other way around, why would you want someone like me. I'm a fraud and liar. I'm always making light of everything and I'm irresponsible."

"Shawn, don't. Don't you get it? I've know all that and more, but I still fell in love with you."

Just then the doctor and nurse walked back in.

"Well, well, well. I see, Detective, you have decided to join us once again," the doctor said.

"Of course I came back, you try sleeping next to Spencer; his mouth goes at one hundred miles an hour and never takes a break."

"Ok," the doctor replied looking back and forth between a scowling Lassiter and a smiling Shawn. "Nurse, would you please take Shawn out, so he can, so he can call his dad to let him know Detective Lassiter is awake."

The Doctor looked at Shawn, hoping he would get the idea that he wanted him to leave.

"Yeah, I really want to see if I can get that wheelchair of mine going really fast. And I'll have to let Chief Vick and Jules and..." Shawn's voice faded as the nurse wheeled him out the door.

"Sorry about that, but Mr. Spencer was sure, that if Shawn stayed in the same room as you, it would help, and..."

"It did."

"It seems so. So, Detective Lassiter, how do you feel?"

"Tired and a little confused, Doctor, have I really been here for five months?"

"Yes, Detective, you have. Now let me just give you a look over, before Shawn gets back."

"And hopefully I'll be able to sit up then."

"We'll see, now let's start."


	12. Chapter 12: Lassiter is Going Home

Shawn sat in his wheelchair, just outside the door to the hospital room that he and Lassiter had shared for the last five mouths. It had been half an hour since the doctor had him leave to call his dad and he was starting to get worried that it was taking so long for the doctor to finish his check of Lassiter. He was so content on staring the door down, he failed to notice the group of people walking up to him. Man, didn't he jump when his father spoke to him.

"Shawn, what are you doing out here?"

Turning to see that the whole gang was there, he shook his head with disbelief.

"Dad, I only rang you, how...?" Shawn said as he waved his hand at the group.

"Well, I rang Gus and Karen to let them, know what had happened."

"And I called O'Hara," the Chief added.

"And McNab was standing next to me when I got the call," Juliet finished off.

"Wow, talk about the grapevine being fast," Shawn said with a smile at them all.

"So, are you going to answer my question, Shawn?"

"What question?"

Henry let out a low groan, "I asked you what are you doing out here?"

"Oh!" Shawn said sitting up straight a bit more. "Well the doctor wanted to check over Lassie on his own, so he told me to go and call you. But that was over half an hour ago and they still haven't come out."

"I see; Shawn you were sure he was awake, weren't you."

"Yes, Dad, I was sure of that or else I was talking to myself, one or the other," Shawn said rolling his eyes at his father.

Just as Henry was about to reply to Shawn's comment, the door opened and the doctor walked out looking at the chart he had in his hand. Looking up, he was a little surprised to find all these eyes watching him. Looking back at the chart and that back to the room he spoke to the group. "Would you all like to come in and we'll talk."

Everyone nodded and Henry grabbed Shawn's wheelchair and pushed him in, with the rest following. Once inside the doctor walked up to Lassiter, who was now sitting up.

"I found them all outside the door waiting, is there anything you don't want me to tell them, or is there anyone you would like to leave?"

"No, no they're all fine to stay," Lassiter said a little surprised to see them all there.

The doctor then turned to the group. He waited while Henry and Gus put Shawn back onto his bed. Once they had finished, be began to explain what was going on with Lassiter.

"Detective Lassiter, as you know, has been in a sleep type coma for the last five months. He came to about an hour ago and all test have shown he has had no damage done, apart from a loss of muscle tone and strength, due to lack of use."

"How long will it be, before I can have my detective back at work, Doctor?" questioned Chief Vick.

With a knowing smile the doctor answered the Chief.

"I'm sure, with physiotherapy; the good detective should be able to go home in a fortnight and most likely back to work on light duty in a month."

"Thank you," the Chief said, nodding her head at the doctor.

Shawn sat and watched, as everything was explained. The smile dropping slowly off his face and on the last word, he looked down at his legs. He looked at the doctor with pleading eyes. "What about me? When do I get to go home?"

Everyone could hear the sadness in his voice and could tell Shawn was not trying to hide it. The doctor walked around Lassiter's bed and up to Shawn's.

"Shawn, I'm sorry. But your injures were severe and it is going to be a long time before you will be going home, let alone walk, Shawn," the doctor said, pity showing in his eyes.

Shawn seemed to cheer up after that, and then Shawn looked at Lassiter.

"And when I do, I'll be running rings around you again, Lassie, you just wait," Shawn said, a smile covering half his face.

"We'll see, Spencer, we'll see."

The two weeks went fast and Lassiter was up and walking in no time, even if it was with a cane. He walked out of the bathroom, and looked over at Shawn who was sitting in the wheelchair looking out the window.

"Shawn," Lassiter said.

He was worried about his boyfriend. Shawn had not seemed to be himself lately and Lassiter had heard him crying at times in the dark, but Shawn wouldn't talk to him. Lassiter walked over to him and tried again.

"Shawn, are you ok?" Lassiter said as he kneeled next to him.

Shawn turned to Lassiter, looking him in the eyes, and let out a small, sad smile.

"I'm fine, Carlton, I just wish I was going home, too."

"The doctor said you could go home next week. You know your dad is doing a few changes to his house, so you can go there and stay with him for now." Lassiter said as he put his hand onto Shawn's arm.

"I know Carlton, but I want to go home with you," Shawn said as the tears started the run down his cheeks.

"Shawn, I..."

"You will be with Lassiter, Shawn," Henry's voice broke through Lassiter's words.

"Henry," Lassiter said to the senior Spencer, as he stood in the door way. "What do you mean, we could be together?"

"Well, I'm going to need help with Shawn, with the way he is, so I was thinking that you could move in with us as well."

The smile on Shawn's face said everything.

"Really, Dad, Lassiter and I can be together, in your house?" Shawn said, eagerness showing on his face.

Henry's eyes narrowed, as he glared at Shawn.

"Lassiter can stay in the guest room; you will be in your old room. I might accept your relationship with Lassiter, but you're not getting up to anything under my roof, understand, Shawn."

"Yes, Dad, I do understand."

"Right, Lassiter, let's get you home and get your stuff," Henry said watching his son as he went back to looking out the window.

"Yes, Mr. Spencer, can I just have a minute with Shawn."

"Yes, I'll be outside waiting and, Shawn; Gus will be here soon to see you." With that said, Henry walked out.

Lassiter watched Henry leave before turning back to Shawn.

"Shawn, we'll be together soon enough and once I've gotten my strength back we'll be together, the way you want us to be, ok?"

Shawn looked at him. "You don't want me; I'm broken, my legs don't work and they're never going to again. I'm just a useless waste of space, now."

"No, you're not, Shawn. I love you and no matter what you think, I want to be with you. But right now, I'm also still healing and I can't look after us both and you will walk again, Shawn, trust me. After all, you told me that you would be running circles around me soon."

Without even looking at Lassiter, Shawn answered. "Ok, Lassie, and I love you, too."

Lassiter pulled Shawn's head around and kissed him. It was soft and gentle, but Lassiter couldn't feel the warmth that was there when they first kissed, after he had woken up. Instead it felt cold and distant.

"Yuk," Gus' voice came through, causing them to break apart.

"Gus, buddy, old pal," Shawn said with a smile Lassiter hadn't seen for a while.

"Shawn, Lassiter."

"Guster, well, Shawn, I better not keep your dad any longer. Bye." Lassiter got up and walked to the door.

Looking back he saw Gus give Shawn a pineapple smoothy. Gus then looked at him, Lassiter could see worry in Gus' eyes and he knew the feeling. Shawn was depressed and this was getting everyone worried.


	13. Chapter 13: Shawn's Depression.

A week later, Shawn was allowed to go home as well. He seemed to have picked up a little, but the doctor had warned both Henry and Lassiter to watch him. As Shawn was wheeled into Henry's living room, he let out a squeal, as he found all of his friends standing there and a table was set up, filled with all of his favourite foods.

"Welcome home, Shawn," they all shouted as he round the corner.

"Oh, gee, guys, you shouldn't have," Shawn said, as he eyed the table and food.

"Right, Shawn, we shouldn't have. You wouldn't have let us lived it down if we didn't," Gus said, joking with him. He was glad to see part of the old Shawn back.

Shawn looked around for his Dad, who had just come out of the hallway that led to his old bedroom. Henry noticing that his son was watching him so he walked over.

"You ok, Shawn?"

"Yes, Dad, I'm fine, but Dad, why?"

"I don't understand Shawn, why what?"

"Why all, this?" Shawn said, waving his hand around at the room.

"Because everyone was glad you're finally home, Shawn, and they wanted to see you."

"Why?" Shawn said with anger showing in both his voice and eyes.

"Shawn, don't."

"Don't; don't me, Dad!" Shawn shouted.

Everyone had heard the raised voices and stopped their laughter, wondering what was going on. Shawn saw this and looked at the faces of his friends as they looked at him. He didn't see love, concern or worry in their expressions. No he had blocked all that out; all he could see was mockery and laughter. Even worse, he could see pity.

'They're only here to pity you', the voice in his head was saying and as it repeated those words over and over, and he looked at each face. The anger grew inside him and he couldn't hold it back. The anger burst out, like the flood water over a busted dam.

"Have you all had your fun? Have you? Had enough time to get your look at the cripple, well have you? Get out, all of you, just get out! I don't need your pity or mock concern! I already know what I am. I'm a waste of space and time, always have been and now I'm even more of a burden. So go, get lost, I just want to be alone!"

Shawn started to wheel away, when his Dad stopped him. "Shawn Spencer, you apologise to your friends."

"They're not my friends, Dad, they never were. Don't you get it? No one wants me; not them, not Gus, you're only putting up with me because you feel you have too. Look around, Dad, my mother isn't even here, well there's a big surprise." Turning to Lassiter, Shawn continued. "Even you don't really want me. You just feel you owe me something. Well, I set you free of it. So as I said, before, GET OUT!"

As Shawn passed the table with all the food on it, he put his hand out and tipped it up. The plates, all the food and drinks came crashing down; and without looking back, Shawn just wheeled himself into his room.

No one move, they just stood there, looking at where Shawn had been. Henry was the first to say something.

"I'm sorry everyone, Shawn is just tired, I guess," Henry said, sounding defeated.

"Ok, I'm sorry everybody," Lassiter then said. "But I think it would be better if you all leave, now."

The guests looked at each other for a moment and then one by one slowly walked past Henry. They said their goodbyes and well wishes for Shawn. Henry in turn, apologised over and over for Shawn's behaviour.

After everyone left Gus, Buzz and Juliet started to clean up, the Chief took Henry outside, so he could calm down and Lassiter when to see Shawn.

"What happened to him, Gus?" Juliet asked

"Shawn has always been like this, you just haven't seen it before, that's all."

"I don't understand," added Buzz.

Taking a deep breath, Gus looked at his two friends. He knew this day was coming, the day when he would have to explain Shawn to other people. He just hoped they would understand.

"Gus?" Juliet asked, concerned with the look he had.

"Sorry, Jules, Buzz. It's just, Shawn is... look, let's just clean up first and then I'll explain Shawn to you."

"Ok," Buzz and Juliet said at the same time and then they all got back to work.

Outside, the Chief wasn't getting anywhere either. "Henry, are you ok?"

"No Karen, I'm not. I don't think I can go through this again."

"Again, through what again, Henry?" the Chief asked, placing her hand onto his shoulder.

"Shawn, I just don't think... when he went through this the last time, it was different. He was a child. He wasn't as strong as he is now and this time, he knows how to hurt with words." Henry looked down; Karen could see the fear and despair in his eyes.

"Henry, you're not on your own. You have me, Guster, O'Hara and McNab. You also have Lassiter, but we need to know what is it, so please, let us help you."

Henry could hear the desperation in her voice. "Ok, when the cleaning up is finished, I'll talk to you all."

"Fine, so let's go and help clean up." They returned to the house to find three people, covered in food.

"What happened?" Henry asked, looking at Gus.

Gus looked at Juliet, and she looked at Buzz who stood there, eyes wide open looking around at everyone.

"I slipped in some to the jelly, and..." Buzz started the explanation.

"And when we went to help him, we also slipped," finished off Gus and Juliet.

"Let's all get it cleaned up then," Henry said as he walked over to the mess. "Gus, afterwards I promised Karen to tell her about Shawn."

"I told Juliet and Buzz the same thing."

So they all got back into the clean up, with only a few slip ups on the way.

In Shawn's room things weren't going so smoothly.

When Lassiter had reached Shawn's bedroom door, he hesitated for a moment before knocking, but when he heard a loud crash, he forgot about knocking and just entered. There on the floor was Shawn, his wheel chair was turned upside down and blood was running down Shawn's forehead.

"Damn it, Shawn, what were you trying to do?"

"I was trying to get these useless legs to work!" Shawn said through clenched teeth.

"Here, let me help you up."

"No, I need to do this on my own."

"Damn it Spencer, you're not alone in this. I want to help you, why can't you see that?"

"Because Lassiter, I'm damaged."

"What do you mean you're damaged, because of your legs?"

"You don't understand, Carlton. You just don't understand."

"Try me."

"What?"

"Let me get you on to the bed and then you tell me what I don't understand and we'll see whether I do or I don't."

Shawn laid there for a few moments thinking about Lassiter's offer. "Ok, let's try it your way."

"Right you are." With just a little trouble, Lassiter finally got Shawn onto his bed.

Sitting down beside him, Lassiter pulled Shawn into an embrace. After a few minutes, Shawn pulled away. As he looked at Lassiter in the eyes, tears started to fall. Lassiter could feel his heart breaking at the sight before him.

Shawn; his Shawn was gone, only this hollowed out shell sat before him and Lassiter couldn't help but blame himself for the way Shawn was. Shawn in turn, sat there looking at Lassiter, he knew, once he explained to Carlton what was wrong with him, that would be it, and Lassiter would just walk out the door. He would never know what it felt like to hold him and make love to him.

"Shawn?"

"Yes, Carlton," Shawn replied

"You said you were going to explain what was going on."

Shawn hung his head down; he could feel himself falling deeper and deeper into the depression at the thought of Lassiter leaving him.

"Kiss me."

"What?"

"Please, I know when I tell you the truth, that, that you'll leave and never want me. Let alone kiss me again, so please kiss me one more time."

"I will kiss you now, Shawn, if that will get you to talk to me, but it won't be the last time, I promise you that and I'm not going to leave you. I, LOVE, YOU and I always will."

Then Lassiter pulled Shawn into a deep kiss, he tried to put as much love and affection that he could into it and at one point, the way Shawn kissed him back, he could feel the love he had for him. But it was gone too quickly. As they pulled apart, Shawn sighed and leaned into Lassiter's chest and embrace.

"Shawn?"

"I know, I know. Lassiter, I..."

Outside Henry and Gus sat across the table from Chief Vick, Jules and McNab. Henry look worried, he knew the information he was about to give out about Shawn could destroy him, both as a person and with his job with the police. He looked at Gus and then back at the waiting faces of the others.

In Shawn's room, Lassiter made himself as comfortable on the bed, as he could, so that he able to see Shawn as he told his story.

Henry and Shawn each began to tell the story.

"Well, there's no other way to say this. Shawn suffers from depression; he has all his life..."

"It started when I was five..."

"Shawn had witnessed a murder and he couldn't handle it..."

"It was a friend of mine. I just withdrew from everything, from Mum and Dad..."

"He didn't tell us until he was taken in and questioned about the last time they were together."

"I had seen him; I just broke down and..."

"Shawn lost it and even thought he was only five, Shawn was strong and he..."

"I picked up a chair and smashed the two way mirror..."

"That's when he was put into hospital and was diagnosed with depression."

"They put me on pills, but Mum, she couldn't handle the fact that..."

"Her son was depressed and that it looked bad for her, being a psychologist. That was when she left."

"I was seven and I haven't seen her since."

Both Shawn and Henry stopped to take a breath. Henry looked at the others and Shawn looked at Lassiter. They both expected to see shock and horror but instead they saw love and sorrow in their eyes. Looking down at their hands, both men started to talk again.

"After Mum left the depression got worse."

"But then Gus walked in through our door..."

"For real, he had gotten lost and Dad had a police car parked outside..."

"Gus' parents had always told him that if he ever got lost, to find a policeman."

"And he did. Well, actually he found me on the couch..."

"I heard a strange noise coming from the lounge room. I went to investigate and found..."

"Dad walked in when he heard me and Gus laughing, Gus had just sat down next to me and turned on the TV..."

"They were watching some sort of cartoon, but because Shawn was actually laughing, I didn't stop it. God, it was good to hear him laugh again and..."

"It had brought me out of my depression. Somehow..."

"Shawn changed from that point on; he became the Shawn you all know..."

"I occasionally slip back and forth, but it has been years since the last bout, and that was when I ran away..."

Gus spoke up then. "Shawn and I had a fight and I told him I didn't want to be his friend anymore, I had..."

"He had found out that I was gay and he sounded like he really hated me."

"And I told Shawn I never wanted to see him again. I was mad that he didn't tell me, not that he was gay. By the time I had calmed down, Shawn had already slipped into depression again, but we..."

"They didn't know I had been in that relationship at the time, and then he hurt me..."

Henry took over the conversation at this point. "Shawn couldn't handle what that creep had done and he ran, and I don't think he has ever stopped running, not from him and not from the depression."

"Then I came here and met you." Shawn looked up into Lassiter's eyes. "I stopped running, I couldn't run away anymore. I just wanted to run to you. But I didn't think you would want me, so when..."

"Lassiter showed Shawn how he really felt about him; Shawn did what Shawn always does. He ran."

"I ran, Lassie, but I didn't want to run and now it's back. I don't want it back, but I don't think I can fight it anymore..."

"I don't think I can help him this time," Henry said as he hung his head.

"Henry, you and Shawn have us to help you this time," Chief Vick said.

"And Shawn has Lassiter," added Juliet.

"Thank you," Henry said as he looked at the faces across from him, and then stared out the door and over the water. "It's getting late," Henry said, watching the sun set. "I imagine you all are ready to get home."

"Yes, we'd better get going; are you going to be ok?"

"Yes, and thank you again." with that they said their goodbyes and headed home. Henry went back into the house to check on his son.

Back in Shawn's room, Lassiter held him close as he let out his frustration. As Shawn's tears soaked his shirt, Lassiter laid there whispering to him in a soft, gentle tone.

"Shawn, you're not alone; you've got me and as well as your Dad. And I'm sure that Guster, O'Hara, McNab and Chief Vick will be there for you as well."

"You're not going to leave me?" Shawn asked as he lifted his head from Lassiter chest.

"No, I'm not. I'm staying right here with you. For better or worse, Shawn, I'm going to here for you."

Shawn smiled at Lassiter and Lassiter was glad to finely see a real smile on Shawn's face. Laying down a bit more Shawn laid his head onto Lassiter's chest again and with a yawn Shawn said, "Thank you, Carlton."

"What for Shawn?"

"For being here, that's all; Oh and Carlton?"

"Yes Shawn?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, Shawn."

Lassiter laid there listening to Shawn's breathing as he slipped into sleep. A few moments later the door opened and Henry looked inside. Seeing Shawn was asleep he went to leave, but was stopped by Lassiter's words.

"Henry, I'll be out as soon as I'm sure he's settled enough."

"Don't worry about it, Lassiter. It might be better for him to wake up with you still there."

"Really, Henry, You're giving me permission to stay with Shawn in his room?"

"Yes, Carlton, I am. Shawn needs you, now more than ever. I'll explain in the morning.'

"If it's about his depression, don't worry about it. Shawn has just been telling me."

Henry smiled at Lassiter.

"What?"

"If Shawn is talking about it, then he is starting to get better. Thank you, Carlton, for being here for him."

"I'm here for you both, Henry, and I'm sure the others will be too."

"I just sat out there and explained it all to them as well, and they said they will be. Well good night, Carlton."

"Goodnight, Henry."  
Lassiter fell into a deep sleep, knowing that everything was going to be ok."


	14. Two Surprises

It took a while but after a few ups and downs Shawn's depression finely broke. It had been six long months and Lassiter stood by him, just as he said he would. The only hurdle that Shawn couldn't overcome was that he still couldn't walk.

For the last two weeks, both Shawn and Lassiter had been out house hunting. They had finely settled on a lovely two bedroom, low set cottage just on the outskirts of town. They didn't have to do much to make it wheelchair friendly and Shawn was looking forward to moving in and getting back to work.

Chief Vick had called him and Gus down to the station to talk about just that, and Shawn couldn't stay still in his excitement.

"Shawn, stay still. You're going to tip up, if you don't."

"But, Gus, aren't you excited to be going back to work?"

"Yes, I am, Shawn, but are you sure it's not too soon? I mean, you're about to move house and..."

"Gus, you really can bring down the mood sometimes, like finding out someone has eaten the last pineapple in the house, down."

"Shawn..."

"Look, just leave me at Lassie's desk and go vegetate."

"Fine, Shawn, if that's what you want." Although Gus sounded hurt and angry, if Shawn had looked at him, he would have seen that Gus was smiling.

After leaving Shawn at the said detective's desk, Gus walked over to Juliet, who was trying to look busy.

"Hi."

Looking up at Gus she smiled.

"Hi, yourself, Gus, I see you brought Shawn." She said nodding at Shawn. "What do you think he will do?"

"I have no idea, Juliet, no idea."

"Well, we're about to find out," she said, as she watched the head Detective walk towards Shawn.

Lassiter looked nervous and worried as he approached Shawn. He stopped once at one of the desks and it looked like he was tying his shoe. He then continued his way to Shawn.

"Spencer, what are you doing here?"

Shawn looked at his boyfriend, mock surprise on his face.

"Lassie, my dear, the Chief called both me and Gus in." Leaning in a bit closer, and in a not so quiet whisper, he said, "I think she's going to let me come back to work."

"Over my dead body, she is Spencer."

"Lassie, I..." Shawn noticed that Lassiter's shoe was untied. "Lassie, your shoe is untied.

"What?" Lassiter said, while he leaned over his desk. He had to try and hide the smile that had formed over his face.

"I said your shoe is untied."

"Oh, so it is," Lassiter said, looking down at his foot. He knelt down to tie it again as he continued to talk.

"As I was saying Spencer, no husband of mine is coming back to work without me saying so."

Shawn looked up at the roof of the bullpen as Lassiter said this, thinking about what Lassiter had just said, Shawn tried to protest.

"But, Lassie, I want to go back to..." Suddenly, what Lassiter said had finally sunk through. Shawn quickly looked at Lassiter who was now down on his knee, with a pair of matching engagement bands in his held out hand. "Lassie, does this mean...?"

"Shawn, will you marry me?"

"Yes, Carlton," Shawn said quietly, and then not so quiet. "Oh, god, YES, yes, yes, yes." Tears had started to well up into his eyes as he looked around to find not only the officers that were there when he arrived, but also Gus, Juliet, his dad, McNab and the Chief standing there, watching.

"You all knew about this?"

"Yes, Shawn, we did," replied Henry

Shawn's attention was brought back the Carlton as he put the ring onto Shawn's hand. Looking at it, Shawn used his other hand to grabbed Lassiter's shirt and pulls him into a kiss.

"Right, that's enough of that, Shawn, my detective needs to get back to work and you need to finish getting better, so you can come back to work as well." Chief Vick said.

"Ok, Chief," Shawn said in a dreamy voice.

"Yes, Chief," replied Lassiter. "Now, Shawn, I want you to decide on a date for the wedding. Remember this is your day."

"No, Carlton, it's not."

"Yes it is, Shawn."

"It's our day," Shawn said, as he stared into Lassiter's beautiful blue eyes.

"Ok, it's our day. Now, Guster, can you get him home, please."

"Yes, I can, Detective."

And with that Lassiter gave Shawn another kiss and Gus wheeled him out. What no one knew was that Shawn was hiding his own secret from them all.

Shawn set the date; it was the day they met for the first time. It had been a long six weeks and just a week ago Shawn was cleared to return to work.  
Lassiter stood in front of the altar, waiting for Shawn's arrival and he was nervous. What do you expect, Shawn had organised everything, including the music. So Lassiter did not know what to expect.

Shawn sat in his wheelchair looking into the mirror. He was making sure his hair was perfect. Gus and Henry watched as he once again brushed it.

"Shawn, Carlton isn't going to wait all day for you," Henry said.

Shawn smiled at his dad through the mirror. "Dad, don't worry. I'm going to marry him and then I'm no longer your problem."

"Shawn!" Gus chided him.

"Gus, go and let them know I'm on my way."

"Right, Shawn." Gus left his friend alone with his father.

"Dad, I want to...?"

"Yes, Shawn, what do you want?"

"I want to go down the aisle on my own, please."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, please."

"OK, Shawn, this is your day. But if you need me..."

"You don't need to say it, Dad, I know"

"OK, see you there." Henry gave Shawn's shoulder an affectionate squeeze and left the room.

Shawn pushed himself over to the couch and pulled two long silver sticks from under it. He carefully attached them to the chair and then went back to the mirror. Looking at himself sitting there in his well pressed black suit, he nodded.

'Right, Shawn, time to go out there and get married to the man of your dreams' and he then wheeled himself out the door.

At the entrance of the main room, Shawn stopped and nodded at the organ player who in turn started to play a new song The singer standing next to the organ player started to sing the song 'Impossible' by Joe Nichols, as Shawn slowly moved down the aisle.

He stopped midway as the singer came to these words...

'And the day we graduated, he stood up to say.'

Shawn took the metal sticks out and with their help he stood up and walked the rest of the way down the aisle, these words playing in the background.

Unsinkable ships sink.  
Unbreakable walls break.  
Sometimes the things you think  
Would never happen  
Happen just like that.  
Unbendable steel bends,  
If the fury of the wind is unstoppable;  
I've learned to never underestimate the impossible.

The words and music stopped just as Shawn reached Lassiter. He was out of breath and that was all he could hear. As Lassiter pulled him in to a big hug, the guest all stood up clapping.

"Shawn, how...?" Lassiter said holding him away looking Shawn up and down.

"Your love for me, that's how." Tears were welling up in Shawn's eyes.

"Let's get married, Shawn."

"Yes, Carlton, let's get married."

As they turned towards the minster, the crowd behind them went quiet. Shawn and Lassiter, that day, became one forever, as husbands.

THE END

Thank you for reading and reviewing my story.

Sequel is up and it is called 'Kisses Can Leave Me Crying'


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